- 1 month ago
- 2 months ago
My mum died yesterday. How can it already have been yesterday? It is 1:25am the next morning. She died at 9:45am. She has been gone over 12hrs. That’s half a day without her. A four year battle with cancer came down to these last 3 months……the last 3 the doctor said she had. We were all with her. I was holding her hand, kissing her cheek, letting her know we were all here, we loved her so much & she had done so well. And now I lie here, half a day later, exhausted & yet unable to sleep.
I think my heart might actually be breaking…..
Well, this has not turned out to be the Easter I had hoped for. After arranging for the mister and I to have some much needed time together to reconnect and work on our relationship the mister took off good Friday morning. I was expecting him to be gone a couple of hours. Then I receive a text message to tell me he wouldn’t be back that day. He had left me alone, without transportation on good Friday. When I mentioned this he simply told me there was a train station around the corner. Because there are so many places to go, things to do etc on good Friday. So, quite simply, I’ve left town. He’s pretty much ignoring my attempts to contact him so where we stand I don’t know.
Day 1 of quality time together. The mister has just left to take clothes to Miss 7 who is staying with her grandparents. He left with an ‘i don’t know how long I’ll be’. I suspect I’ll be single soon.
So………..I guess to explain the situation I should explain how I ended up in it. I met the mister one night at a party that both of us very nearly didn’t go too. He was very drunk and made his intentions very clear. I was not - and was really not all that interested. But still, I gave him my number and later on made a date to catch up so I must have thought something was there. I think the truth of it was I didn’t want to turn my back on someone without actually getting to know them (does that make sense).
So, we started dating. It was fun at first - I really wasn’t looking for anything serious - but we started to be spending all our free time together and didn’t like to be apart, so I had to finally admit that we were a couple.
So where does Miss 7 fit in? Well, she didn’t actually fit in anywhere because custody was pretty tricky. Each parent had a restraining order against the other - and her mother was basically holding her ransom not letting the Mister see her at all. He couldn’t go near her because of the restraining order, the mother is saying just come around and see her, his lawyer is telling him don’t you dare because she is waiting for this opportunity, etc etc etc. Eventually the mother just disappeared with her. So there was no Miss 7 (who, was Miss 5 - almost 6 at this stage).
Long story short, in a flurry of a confused and convoluted story that see’s the police deliver her to the Mister who has her for 8 weeks, then a court appearance and the final result of the Mister having her every second weekend and two nights in between. Something I could totally cope with.
HOWEVER - idiot birth mum did not follow the judge’s orders. Very very simple orders. Send her too school. Miss 7 rarely went to school. Came to the Mister’s place so filthy that we didn’t think she was even being bathed regularly. The school complained about the mother’s behaviour, they expressed extreme concerns about Miss 7 who couldn’t focus in class, was falling asleep, extremely tired, even soiled herself one day. Also, the birth mum had a prescription drug addiction and wasn’t capable of looking after herself, let alone another person.
The mister and I stared talking about moving in together. We loved each other deeply and couldn’t bare to be apart. About 2 weeks before he made the move (I had already moved into our new place) he had another court date. I went with him for moral support and to show the judge that we were a normal sane couple. And the judge took Miss 7 from her mother and gave her too us full time. No warning. We went upstairs to daycare and picked her up and took her home. That was it. We had no idea. We had no warning. We weren’t ready. We weren’t expecting anything. She came with only the clothes on her back (stained, dirty and too small) and the filthy scruffy stuffed animal that she carries everywhere.
And that is how my life fell apart.
So I thought maybe a little bit of a background on our families might fill in some gaps and help see our VERY different backgrounds.
Me; ok - I don’t really have any pseudonyms for myself. I grew up in country Queensland on a pig and cattle farm. I LOVED my childhood. I am the eldest of four (there was an elder sister, however she passed away at 18months old, when I was six days old. It broke my parents hearts). I can not speak highly enough of my parents. They are strong Christians whose faith is inspirational. I grew up in a very strict yet loving environment. I was smacked, I was grounded, I was punished, and I knew my boundaries. I also knew I was very loved. I was surrounded by animals - and I adore animals! I’m at my happiest when I am around them. I’m 33, I have a 31 yr old brother, 27yr old sister, then there is the baby, my youngest, 25yr old sister. I had a fair bit of responsibility in regards to my younger siblings. Mum and Dad both worked, we did not have much money, but we were always fed and clean. My parents also fostered kids, so at one time there were 5 kids under 7 or something crazy like that. We all had chores, bedtimes, ran around outside, got dirty, got clean and basically learnt how to be good responsible decent human beings.
Well, I can’t tell you everything, because I didn’t live it - but this is what I know. He was born in Victoria. His father is Swiss, and when he was very little his parents moved to Switzerland, where his brother was born. He is the eldest of two boys, 33 and 30. They moved back to Australia when he was 12 - a move he greatly resents. He struggles to forgive his father for abandoning his elderly grand-parents to whom he was very close. He describes his mother (she is a big woman) as having black out rages where she would beat them both. He tried to protect his brother as best he could, and tried to tell his father about them but he describes his father as having dismissed it. They stopped when he realised that he was bigger than his mum. I don’t know much else, apparently did a lot of the cooking for the family.
So - that is our backgrounds. Don’t get me wrong - my childhood wasn’t angelic. My mum would be the first one to tell you I was a terrible child, lol. I have been around children all my life, my friends (as I find church raised people seem to do) married very young, and had families of their own very young. Mister hasn’t experienced any of these things. Miss 7 is really the only child he’s been around. So - that’s us!